Painting and recording

About two weeks ago, Dad was kind enough to drive Örebro. It has been two very busy weeks. I’ve cleaned out the old office at Fascination Street Studios, painted it, bought furniture and such.

Just as the office was about done and I was about to start working on a website for our music management experiment Jens asked me if I could help him with some studio engineering and so I was taught some Pro Tools and recording basics. I was a bit stressed over this since the Amon Amarth production he was working on was already behind schedule. But today while he was away I took over the control room and help with recording bass for two tracks. It was a kick not to make an arse out of myself.

The guys from Amon Amarth are nice guys and it’s not like their music is astrophysics if there even is something called that. Probably bass is the easiest part of an album recording anyway.

I Örebro will be an exciting new chapter in life and I know it will be fun to work close to a good friend. We even share beds right now. Jens claims I make noises when I sleep. Jens himself sleepwalks and has nightly visions. Two days ago he claims he saw me walk through a wall.

Sweden is pretty hot at the moment and the control room is the only room that is air conditioned. The office where I work is horrible and the computers don’t make it much better.

In a week or so I will go to the west coast and then to the Sweden Rock Festival where I used to work a few years ago.

Zombie state

What is the sign of the times and a good sign that your social life is somewhat bent out of shape? Well, I guess blog communication. A number of people whom I haven’t talked to in quite some time have recently “picked up a conversation” that we never started. I went: “Uhm, excuse me – but did I tell you I am moving in two months?” and they go: “No, read it on the blog!”.

For me this is a bit disturbing since I not only have a dysfunctional social life. I also have a dysfunctional blog but I’m trying to improve it but it is hard since I have (temporarily) reached some kind of zombie state. I act without thinking. I simply wander around as if controlled by a collective mind or a super brain. One could call it the extreme of the boring everyday routine.

I can’t seem to remember much at the moment. What do I do? I have a paper that I bring everywhere. It’s basically a list of things to do and sometimes things to buy. When I’ve completed a task there is a small box that I mark with an “x”. Today I: 1) Bought a present. 2) Went out with my brother. 3) Filled out an application. 4) Updated my calendar. 5) Bought shaving stuff and sun screen. 6) Bought backpack. 7) Sent an e-mail.

All of the above was on the list. The list is on the floor right now. That way I will see it first thing in the morning so I wont forget to bring it to work. The list says: “DON’T FORGET TO BRING FOOD!”. I often forget that and if it’s not on the list then I will forget it. This is crazy but also fun. It might be because I want to go somewhere else in life. This is just an extreme of the boring everday routine. Now I’m gonna watch an episode of Seinfeld (I borrowed them ALL from Tompa) and then I’m off to bed.

Yesterday was mom’s birthday. Me and Albin went to see Chicken Little at the movies in Kungsbacka which was pretty fun actually, it’s been 15 years or so since I went to see a kids film and everyone was in a good mood. The kids were all laughing. Oh my… kids. Mom’s party was fun too. I had to much cake.

Yesterday when I woke up at eight in the morning I got dressed and went out to take some pictures in the woods. There’s a certain spot where you can get a cool scenic view of Veddige. I made some sandwiches and bought some hot coco at the gas station and then went for a cold, cold walk. It’s fun to walk knee deep in snow when you’re leaving for a summer paradise in just a few days, don’t you think?

Judgement Day

For some reason today doesn’t really feel like winner’s day. Know the feeling? It’s like one of those days when you feel the only thing you can really do is to clean your room. Because if you do that at least you will amount to something. But I haven’t cleaned my room today.

Good song on the stereo now – The Cult’s “Little Face”. That serves as a reminder as to why one would dye the hair black and wear make up.

I just sent three text messages from my cell phone but no one answered. Is anyone still out there? Oh, what if the rapture just took place and I was left behind. I better go see if my Megadeth collection is still on earth.

Delivering the goods

We often joke and claim we suffer from the High Fidelity Syndrome. This is not a well known term, I know, so I’ll explain. It’s based on the character of Rob Gordon (from Nick Hornby’s book “High Fidelity”). One symptom of the syndrome is to grade people on the basis of their music taste. Furthermore, you make mix-tapes and mix-CDs to people as a challenge or compliment. I love doing this. However, it’s often just to make people happy. And I’m not a complete music nazi, am I?

Anyways, the step from giving a CD to a friend to giving one to a complete stranger is pretty darn big, isn’t it? Yesterday I gave a really good collection to a girl in a grocery store downtown, simply because she’s always happy and gets me in a good mood whenever I go shopping. So, thanx for that. I hope you like it. You’ve been my hero of late.

Stargazer…

I’m in Veddige at the moment. Mom and dad went to New York for a week and Sandor needs help with his papers so I figured now was a good time to go “home”. Add to that that the Winter Olympics just started – I don’t have a TV at the hostal. Well, there’s a TV but my 60 year old bosnian neighbour sits there all the time and his talking makes the watching experience a bit, uhm, rough.

Anyways, we didn’t get much done yesterday. Just sat around talking and Sandor raved a bit about hearing Opeth for the first time on swedish radio the other day while driving in his car. As soon as he got home he ordered an album. That’s kinda fun I think. Enough about that.

As I walked home yesterday I, by chance, looked up to the sky and I was almost in awe. I was like: “Man! This is incredible!” – and then I realised that when I was younger I used to be out watching the stars all the time. Somewhere down the line I lost that. Is that what happens to us? That we get blinders as we get older? I asked my friend Sandor about it and he said: “Yes, but you also lose them at a certain age”. He’s probably right. If not, the world is getting less and less fantastic.

Sedative highs

Around 10:15 today, at work, I realised that I was listening to music through my headphones so loud that it could probably make permanent damage to my ears. I looked down and saw that my white slim fit long sleeve t-shirt (underneath a washed out Black Sabbath t-shirt) had staines of coffee on it. God know’s how many days it had been there without me noticing. I’m not sure I even care. The right man in the wrong place so to speak. I shook my head and left.

Some days I just have no idea where life is taking me. I ride the train to work if I have to. Most days I walk. I work at my own pace though and if I’m not up for it then I don’t work. I come home and eat chinese or thai food. I watch a movie and write a song. I go to bed too early or too late.

Days go by like scenes in movies. It’s almost a sedative. Like standing on a sidewalk watching traffic. Or living with a straight jacket. Like watching the evolution of things from a distance: The bang, dinosaurs, man, christ, industry, nazism, new wave of british heavy metal, me and then this blog. The complexity of it all makes me wonder how the wheel can keep on rolling. But it does roll and even though I have no idea what part I play in the whole shebang it feels real enough and I like that it does. Knock on wood. It is real.

I feel like Nikki from Operation: Mindcrime. (If you don’t know what that is then I can’t help you.) I’m on a constant sedative high and everything is kind of in slow motion.

Straight jacket memories, sedative highs, No happy ending like they’ve always promised
There’s got to be something left for me, And I raise my head and stare Into the Eyes of a Stranger

These memories and more remain

“So where do we begin? And what else can we say?
When the lines are all drawn… What should we do today?
(Fates Warning)

Can I just say that life is strange at the moment? That would make it a whole lot easier. What am I talking about? Well, I’ll tell you. There’s a lot of different things on my mind. For one thing, I’m a bit distracted or even freaked out because two different people are having similar dreams about me. And they don’t even know each other – and they’re not even from the same countries. So you dream about me? Big deal! I don’t really need that. My question is: Who on earth will dream with me?!

I think I’m gonna go on a road trip in a week or two. Up north. Also an Israel trip is scheduled for March 2006 but other than that I can’t really say what the future holds. At first I was thinking I’d stay put in Sweden until the end of the summer but I’m not sure I’m gonna have a place to stay. If I won’t find a place I might as well tour the world again come summer.

Mail suggestions and invitations if you have ‘em. I gotta go to bed now and I’ll check the mail box in the morning.

I look at my life, each day, and the decisions I’ve made and for a couple of seconds I’m worried (I live in a freakin’ hostal, without any planning) but then the feelings switch and I feel proud when I think back on what’s happened. So much came along with the decision to break up and seek adventure. And I know I am not alone.

“I remember the nights. And i remember pain. Like the sound
of your voice, alone. These memories and more remain.”
(Fates Warning)