Get a room!

This bad craziness just goes on and on. I was planning on going to the US right after the scheduled february Israel trip. Well, I sort of made a full turn on that and decided to stick on the west coast for a while. I wanna save up so I can do something, like really wicked, later on… or ergh, something. I dunno. I’m gonna go to the US eventually so don’t you yanks send me angry mails. Anyways, so I’m gonna be here but I can’t really crash at mom and dad’s place anymore so I set out to find a room. Man! Is it impossible?

Well, it’s not easy. But I think I found a solution. There’s a hostel that rents rooms to students and stuff. I called the manager and he said they have rooms to spare. That’s pretty cool – and it’s not very expensive. Well, I guess it’s not extremely cheap in the summertime but who the heck wants to go to Varberg now? No one! Except for me.

This can be fun. And odd. But cool! It’ll be like going back to the college dorm! Or close to it.

That’s it for now.

Screaming for Vengeance

Life is pretty strange and I can only laugh at the weirdnessl. Don’t do this! Don’t do that! Wanna go there! Ending up here! Planning that. All I wanted to do… the deal fell through. Expected nothing… and gained everything.

Strange things are happening at the moment – and in my own weird way I only enjoy it. It’s like falling of the horse on the merry-go-round, rollin’ and stumblin’ like a fool coz it’s still moving! Maybe I’m crazy but I set out to feel free some time ago and I guess this is what it’s like. A kick in the face and a pat on the shoulder. It’s a rush and a natural high!

I’m glad I made the decisions I made – and there be days when you just feel like giving in, when life is really kicking you in the face! And that could be the end of it but we never settle for that because we are screaming for vengeance! Just like the Judas Priest album from 1982. It never seizes to amaze me that when stuff is really wicked you just put on a good track and then you’re back on the road again!

All grown up

We have entered the state in our lives when we are mature. I mean, we have jobs, live in new cities and some of us even have girlfriends to whom we are engaged (not me). When we meet nothing is like the way it was. We do grown up things.

It took about an hour and then me and Cristian had our first fight. It’s always friendly though – but still. Last time was in Ängelholm and we wrestled in the wet grass and when blood started pouring we discovered that we had been rolling in a broken bottle. Cristian defeated me bad that time. The time before was in Gothenburg at some club or pub or disco and he was totally trying to push me over the line, provocing me with his snotty face expression. I managed to keep calm for about five minuted then literally threw myself over the table to smack his face. This time he was complaining over me hitting him too hard and threw me into a bench while we were waiting for the bus. It hurt at the moment. And the day after that. And the day after that. And the day after…

Daniel and Martin don’t fight that much. They are immature in other ways. I have pictures to prove it… but I wont publish them.

There’s a killer on the loose again

Most of you have asked – and the rest of you wonder – so I might as well go ahead and tell you that my trip home from Chicago was awesome. Joby and Daniel drove me to the airport and I love them for it. Not only did it make my trip easier but it felt so good having to friends drop me off. I guess there aint much to say about the trip itself. I had some 50 yeard old nerd in front of me ringing the “bell” during take-off to ask why his reading-light didn’t work. I slept the whole way and woke up in a rainy Copenhagen where I only had to stay for two hours. Two other good friends picked me up at the airport in Sweden – brother Bomber and nephew Albin.

Since I came home I’ve called people and mailed some and met some and it’s been great. It’s colder than Metallica’s “Trapped under ice” but I guess that’s just the way it is. I got a cold two days ago but I don’t really care – the last three months have been so awesome that nothing can take away the joy.

This morning I went out to take some pictures of the winter landscapes of Veddige, Sweden. A beautiful sight indeed. I often say that this world sucks but it also reminds me that it doesn’t. :) It’s awesome.

The picture above is a picture I took five minutes ago. There are angels in the background, you see – this is the room I grew up in, but a few years after I moved out mom turned it in to an Angel Room! This is where she keeps her angel collection. I sleep among cherubs and fluffy winged dolls with rosy cheeks. So, yeah – I’m back in town! There’s a killer on the loose again!

13 miles is 21 km

The last time I went running (three days ago) I took Lincoln Ave, from Belmont Ave, out to the lake and I wondered if maybe I should continue out to Navy Pier. It was cold and just about to rain. I made the decision not to go there and I would later regret it since it didn’t seem that much longer.
Yesterday I left work 30 mins early since I wanted to run again but had to be back before 18.00. When I got out to the lake I still hadn’t decided but all of a sudden I found myself running “south” and not “home”. When you think in miles everything seems shorter. I didn’t think it’d feel that much longer. 21 km might not seem like a killer distance to you – and in all honesty it wasn’t really to me either, I didn’t crawl or anything – but I don’t think I ever ran that far before and my knees are surely letting me know today. Yikes!

The Bomber…

We each take turns at Belly Acres (the t-shirt factory) to play music. We’re about six to eight people here which leaves about an hour for each person to play whatever they want to listen. Today I’ve had a headache, it’s raining, I’m tired and a bit bored. Not all people understand how putting on Motörhead’s “Bastards” could be the cure to all that. However, there is one man that I left behind back home that knows all about this healing power.

Some might argue, but I think maybe I am the person who knows the man above the best. At least when it comes to certain things in life. Let me explain. I was there at nights when we would spend eight hours straight in our rehearsing room playing Black Sabbath. I was down the by the river fishing and listening to Iron Maiden when the fish hook tore into my flesh and he had to tear it out. I too stayed up until two in the morning watching Headbanger’s Ball on MTV. We went hunting heavy metal cassette tapes in Poland and cheap metal t-shirts that would vapourize after one washing.

And trust you me, I was there when me and my brother stood out on the plains some ten years ago watching the Motörhead show start at the Sweden Rock Festival. We had seen another band a couple of minutes before that so we still had about 500 feet to go to get to the stage where Motörhead played. I remember the very words he said, “Man! It’s like a helicopter take off!”. I can’t think of a better way to explain it. As I remember it they started with “Ironfist” and the hammering of drums and blitzkrieg stroboscope together with the pure madness of Lemmy’s singing and the crowd going wild was probably nothing short of the impact a group of ACH-47A armored Chinook helicopters would have crashing into a Viet Cong camp during an asian thunderstorm.

My brother would later earn the nickname The Bomber from the Motörhead-song with the same name (few things would describe him as good as that song). But maybe that show was when it all started. Maybe it started even earlier. And like Dave Mustaine of Megadeth said: “It was back in the day. And if you weren’t there, it doesn’t matter anyway, because you wouldn’t understand!”.

“Firestorm coming closer, Napalm to the bone!
Because, you know we do it right, A mission every night!
It’s a Bomber! It’s a Bomber!”

To me it describes a way of life and an attitude towards it all. If you’re having a hard time you can either wimp out and sink down into it… or you can crank up Motörhead, assume an attitude and simply let the world know that you’re gonna “Bite the Bullet”.

You are dearly missed brother.

How much we struggle to cut that umbilical cord just to find out it is all in vain…

Have you, or have you ever had, parents?

Ok, then – you will very much understand this episode. We all fight so badly to break free from the paternal control that suffocates us. If only we got a little more trust and freedom we would indeed prove ourselves worthy of that trust and freedom. And independence.

That is in a way what I’m striving towards. I need to feel that I can make it on my own. I even want to be able to take pride in it. That’s why I’m gonna try to travel and do it alone and try not to depend on anyone else than myself. Hence, I ordered a trip to England without telling the folks and I sorted everything out myself. How grown up of me. In the end it worked out the best that dad would drive me to the airport tomorrow. Before going to bed he decided to ask me one question.

“Do you know what airport the plane departs from?” dad said.
“Ofcourse I do! It departs from Landvetter Airport,” I answered a bit grumpy.

Dad looked at me, saying: “Ryan Air don’t fly from Landvetter. They only fly from Göteborg City Airport”. Mom filled in in the background: “Yes, Ryan Air only operates at Göteborg City Airport”.

I had plans to defeat dependence and paternal control. I then realised I was about to lose. Dad had one more question.

“Do you even know what day your flight is?”

I knew. But I had already lost.